Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

Love me

Posted: November 24, 2016 by Arushi in Thoughts
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What is it about love that we crave it with such fierceness? That all acts committed under its name elicit at least a second, more forgiving, glance. Why is a crime of passion different from a cold blooded one. Why do we want it, and why do we change so much because of it when no other force would have moved us?

Why do we love? The hormones, the chemicals… why have they not been ‘evolved’ out of our system yet? Why do they exist?

Who besides poets and writers has ever appreciated it? What good does it do? Love, or the romantic notion of love, does it even exist?

There is no true love. Then why do we still look for it?

Why do we feel incomplete without it?

Why do we want it?

And how do I live without it?

 

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The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I have no idea where that proverb initially comes from, but I do know it has been there for a few centuries. For good reason.

At their very heart, I do think that most people believe they are good – whatever form of good they believe in – and that their actions are correct.

They might, later on, realize that they made the wrong choice and feel remorse, or might not. But, the cartoonish villains who revel in their ‘evilness’ are not really all that common. We do have psychopaths and sociopaths, but then they fundamentally do not feel right or wrong. Even Hitler, I believe, must have thought he was doing the right thing while committing genocide. But just because he thought it right, obviously, does not make it right in the least.

With such an obvious example, I should be able to rest my case. Except that is not all that I am talking about. The general public, thankfully, does not get to commit genocide. But, they do commit violence on a micro scale. We do it. All of us.

Don’t believe me? Indifference and apathy can be just as cruel as actual cruelty, and words can cut just as deep as a knife – not to mention hurt far longer than any physical wound.  Here’s a few things to think on:

  • When was the last time you paid attention to the people who serve you – gave them a smile or even a thank you? Waiters, porters, ticket sellers – all those people who make your life easier?
  • When did you last protest when someone was being mocked for what  they had no control over – their looks, their education, their hometown, their color, their gender, their accent? Did you ever stop how you would feel in their place?
  • When did you say a word when your family/friends/associates last did/said something sexist/racist/classist?
  • When did you last question the conservative practices around you that degrade women? Did you ever stop and ask why a biological process that is the reason we are growing (at a rather alarming rate) as a species makes women impure? Yet the same women might have to face hell if they do not have children?
  • Did you ever tell someone that to treat someone as untouchable is not just harsh and cruel, but inhuman? After all, we are the same species. There is no stamp on our bodies at birth that makes one better than the other.
  • When did you last speak out when gender instead of merit played a role in the decision of someone’s future?
  • When was it that you spoke out against anything that you thought was wrong? Anything?

If you did speak out, thank you. You and those like you are the reason we have made some progress as a species, as a society. If you did not, try. It is hard. You will get hurt. But maybe, you will be the reason someone else will not have to face the same situation.

I know you mean well. We all mean well. We all can feel when something is not right – even if cannot put our finger on it immediately. I know it’s uncomfortable and so so hard to stand up for yourself, harder still to do so for someone else.

But isn’t it time we did so?

That 10 lane highway to hell is definitely paved with good intentions. After all, intention does not amount to much. It is your actions that count.

To be honest, I do not truly believe in Hell or Heaven. I think that what we sow, we reap in the here and now. While eternal fire may hurt terribly, facing the same hurt that your sent someone’s way does have a ring of poetic justice. It is a lesson brutally learned. And to be very honest, usually that brutality is well deserved. I guess that is the circle of karma.

I do not think it should be just about that, though. Maybe it should also be about being better people. About being humans in fact, not just Homo sapiens. Maybe if we step up, the next generation would face different problems and not be bogged down with the ones we were too cowardly to fix.

Unwritten

Posted: August 1, 2016 by Arushi in Thoughts
Tags: , ,

I recently spoke to a friend about the fact that I could not write. I told her many things. Private things. She helped me. But one thing she said stuck with me most.

The best work of a lot of writers was written when they were depressed.

So maybe, instead of losing my words, I should be at my most creative.

Sadly, my creativity does not agree. I guess it didn’t get the memo.

I mean, I wld have been writing something better than the obvious here if it had, right?

Anyways, that drama aside, I did recently start working fulltime. I have no words for how happy that makes me. Wait, I m supposedly depressed. Replace happy with content. Huh. Maybe glad?

I am not sure. Guess I am not even good at being depressed. Maybe I need more practice. But then again, I have been at this for over a year now. Huh. Again. I should have gotten the hang of it by now.

Maybe that’s why no one believes me. I am not convincingly depressed. After all, validation comes from without, not within. Wait, it was supposed to be the other way around, wasn’t it? But that’s not how it works. Your truth is never the truth unless acknowledged by others.

Your validation comes from others because otherwise you are just a fraud. But these others do not really care about you or your truth. Well. That makes it tough.

Too bad.

Indian Marriages

Posted: March 31, 2016 by Arushi in Thoughts
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Everyone gets married.

In fact, we are raised to believe that it is the sole aim of everything we do. Study hard, get a good job, look good, speak well, don’t drink/smoke (or at least don’t be found out), learn to cook, otherwise how will you find a good match?

Not only does everything eventually lead to a good ‘biodata’ that allows your parents to find a life partner for you, you’re led to believe said partner is perfect for you.

Why? Because marriages are made in heaven of course. And heaven does not screw up.
Riiiight.

But what if heaven does screw up? What if the people are right, good, decent, but totally wrong for their partner who is just as right, good and decent? What if being in love is simply not enough?

What if… You can either be together or be happy? In that case, is it the heaven part that was a lie, or does heaven just hate you?

The two words that a person should kick out of his life are ‘what if’ but when they are all that you are surrounded with, how do you stop yourself from drowning?

Don’t look at me. I have no relationship advice, but I wonder what if…