Growing up and Moving on.

Posted: October 20, 2012 by Arushi in Thoughts
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Two Years ago, this month, I convocated.

So much has changed since then. It feels like I have become a completely different person. Probably because it is true.

I read a post a few days ago that I had written about my university in my first semester and I could not feel that I wrote it. It could have been written by a stranger, yet in some detached way, I knew those were my words.

A lot of experiences, interactions etc. come together to shape our personalities. I had not realized how much I had changed until I read that single post and then the changes were glaringly obvious. It is not the big changes that are truly momentous, but rather the little ones who accumulate and sneak up on us.

The girl who wrote that post was just trying to find her place in the world, I have carved my niche. She was hesitantly hopeful. I am a bit more cynical. It is not her fault and neither is it mine. Things happened, perspectives changed and reality made an appearance.

Once I graduated, it took me a while to make up my mind upon what I wanted to do. It took effort and a process of elimination. Since I could not decide on one thing, the main thing was eliminating what I did NOT want to do. Such a simple concept in hindsight. At the time, it was utter chaos.

After all, choosing not to go to a school (unfortunately a really good one) after you have been admitted just because you have realized ‘this is not what I want to do in life’ leads to some consternation. Then to pull the same stunt again after costing international travel fares, well, not the smartest move out there. I was glad to have realized it so quickly: tuition is extremely expensive these days.

Yet at the end of the day, those were two major career paths rejected and I knew that I would not be doing this ever. Not if I could help it. Then came the realization. I had been made to see the world with blinders on. No one said that I could only do this one thing only. The whole world was out there, all I had to do was grasp it.

So I did. It took a while, quite a bit of effort, but in the end everything worked out, for I would have it no other way.

Now I have another degree. It is considered one of the most useless degrees out there (Masters in English) and yet I find it extremely useful. I am also working and for me, this is my dream field of work: editing. I actually enjoy my work, which was the only thing I had ever wanted. To be able to love what I do.

All that had to be done was to think out of the box and then work hard. I wanted this, truly, and so now I have it. In two years everything has changed. It feels like the blink of an eye. It feels like eons.

So a week from now, when the anniversary of my convocation comes, I think I will celebrate it.

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